hApPy nEw YeAr

So, we waited and waited for Praxie to post his travelogue...and,guess what, we are still waiting!!

In the meantime, 2010 is here...
Like every year, I'm amazed how the last one got over so quickly...dreams unfulfilled...promises waiting to be kept...extra weight yet to be lost...

This post is specially for the 5 little pieces of my heart which are scattered all over the country right now...
Now that roaming SMS rates are not really low, I figured, the fastest and the most inexpensive way to wish them would be thru apna really really under-used blog...

After receiving some flak for forwarding unoriginal SMSs (Heck Ash, the message was funny!!), I decided to list down all my wishes for the 6 of us...the 6 Idiots as Ashish rightly put...

Well, people, I hope 2010 brings us higher GPAs...easier subjects...more academic sincerity...good summer jobs...and even better final ones...fat salaries but slim waistlines...free flow of booze...a little bit of love (sigh!!),romance and sex (wishful thinking!!)...
and even if none of this happens...we will always have Bhascomm for,with and beside us - complete with the cute pecks and the warm hugs...

Here's to our friendship...our love...our quirks...
Here's to US...

Cheers....

and lots of wet sticky Muaaaahhhhhs....

Shagadelic Baby!! a review of Eklavya -The Royal Guard... Read on!!!

10,000 years ago.

Mankind is learning the art of procreation. Action, Erection, Shoot & Lumpination. Alas the duffer, that man is, he hasn’t learnt to shoot his love at the right spot. That secret, is held by a select few, who learn the art of shooting at the right spot for procreation by the reverend Groanacharya.

And then there is ozLuvya. His application for learning the hidden art has been rejected by the Erection for Procreation High School run by Groanacharya. But ozLuvya isn’t deterred.

Respectfully, he goes deep into the jungle on a Mangal (Hinglish: Tuesday) for a jungle mein mangal (Hinglish: chitti chitti bang bang in the jungle) and creates something, that laid the foundation of present day Porn Industry. ozLuvya created a naked woman from clay. Which is those ages was enough for a man to get a… you know what.

And ozLuvya practiced. And practiced. He would stand, start, shag, shoot… learning by himself. Following his inner voice to learn the true art.

And at times when “it” refused to get up due to “over exertion”, ozLuvya would travel to the town of herbs, via Agra. The town of herbs would sell herbs that would hammer down “its” refusal to “get up” and would force “it” to stand up to full attention.

The target practice got better and better.

One day Groanacharya was roaming far away in the jungle, because there was no roaming facility available in and around his Erection for Procreation High School. And he found ozLuvya practicing. Target shooting was perfect. Groanacharya was shocked!

He approached ozLuvya. How did you learn this? Don’t you know this erection target practice is patented by me? Do ya know that? You punk? Now you will pay me for “infringement” right here in this Mid Shitty Day.

ozLuvya agreed. After all it was his Dharma.

O Groanacharya. Ask and it shall be done.

And Groanacharya asked for ozLuvya’s mini-me (Hinglish: mini-me, found only in the males and pre-op transexuals).

Which ozLuvya readily agreed. He cut it off. And offered it to Groanacharya, who was a little apprehensive of receiving ozLuvya’s payment in his hand…

Present day

The present day ozLuvya is quite a lover boy with a specialty. He beds queens and princesses. In this process, a queen is impregnated at the insistence of the Queen’s mother-in-law. You see the mother in law does not have a lot of trust in her son’s, the King’s, mini-me.

King Bald-endra is one stupid son of a bitch. Ooops. That would mean Queen’s ma-in-law is a biaatch…. sorry… she isn’t… not sure… since we haven’t seen her. So let’s suppose the King, Mr. Bald-endra is a son of a bitch, philosophically speaking.

Now our buddy ozLuvya when not doing the chiti-chiti-bang-bang thingy with the queens of India, also has a full time day job. That of a bodyguard to Bald-endra. He’s paid handsomely. Remuneration also includes a kholi (Hinglish: Go to Walmart, steal a shopping cart, jump into it, put a board in front of the cart that reads, “Home Sweet Home”).

Bald-endra then one day realizes his grown up son is not his son… it shatters him… and he kills wife, and calls it a suicide.

But truth can never be hidden for long. It always comes out and the guilty never go scot free. Prime example of this principle can be seen everwhere in the world, right from JFK’s assassination to Laloo Prasad Yadav’s chara ghotala – where it was proved that the stupid cows in Bihar were addicted to the grass in Bihar, just like alcoholics are addicted to whiskey.

But that’s besides the point.

ozLuvya meets his biological son Mr. Confused-endra who secretly has been chiti-chiti-bang-banging the King’s driver’s daughter Ms. “How-to-catch-a-rich-Husband”

More twists in the plot follow with the entry of Muchchad Singh and Jacketwa Singh, who want to kill ozLuvya, change plans decide to kill Confused-endra, change plans – and decide to kill King Bald-endra, change plans and kill themselves.

I tell ya. This is one shitty confused family here.

And let’s assume King Bald-endra gets killed too. May his soul rest in peace.

ozLuvya and Confused-endra get together and spend the rest of their lives chitti-chitti-bang-banging the queens of India and all drivers’ daughters they can lay their hands on.

One big happy family.

Seriously. Is this the kind of amateurish story telling we should expect from Shri Vidhu Vinod Chopra? Is this the guy who gave us Parinda, 17 years ago, and after that suddenly went boing-boing in his head and since then has been telling stories that put even my dog to sleep?

What the hell is wrong here? Suddenly I feel either Parinda was NOT actually a Chopra creation – done by someone else Or the hunger in those times actually drove Chopra to write and direct a Parinda.

What is Chopra’s contribution to Eklavya?

The only factors which may make you sit through the movie are Nutty’s amazing cinematography that makes the movie look like a million bucks and Amitabh Bachchan.

Which brings me to the point – that Chopra too falls prey to Bachchan’s overpowering legend. And instead of fitting a Bachchan in a story, Chopra fits the story into a Bachchan, which many before him have committed a similar sin… and fallen flat on their faces, as Chopra does in this venture.

The world of Chopra is stuck in a time warp. Story telling has moved leaps and bounds far ahead in these 17 years and perhaps Chopra may do a bit good to himself to watch movies like Children of Men and Pan’s Labyrinth to realize what shit he’s throwing at us under the names of Kareeb, Mission Kashmir and now Eklavya.

Bollywood is changing it’s movie making style. Movies used to be 3 hours long. But content was lacking. Not enough meat to stretch a movie to 3 hours.

So now we have 2 hour movies. Eklavya stands even less at 110 minutes. I think Bollywood should move to Phase III, where movies should now be made of 60 minutes duration.

Eklavya has 4 scenes which are of any importance in the story and they could be wrapped up in 15 minutes.

Instead we have to suffer the entire length of close to 2 hours, because Chopra drags and drags and drags and drags till YOU FUCKING WANNA STAND UP AND SLAP EVERY PERSON IN THE THEATER FOR BEING AS FUCKED UP AS YOU ARE – the craziness that made them, like you, to watch Eklavya.

Cinematically speaking, Vidhu Vinod Chopra, as a director is finished. It’s time to scratch his name from our “must watch” list.

D Minus. Take pencil torch along with a book or a Playboy or any goddamn thing that you can read for 110 minutes while the movie plays on the screen.

This is how reviews should be done.. totally unbiased and straight from the heart or somewhere else ...............

Bhascomm's First Pizza party!!!!

Hi People, Here are a few snaps from the first Pizza outing of Bhascomm. U know the thing about this ,man we all look so bright,young and FAIR!!!! Hail YUM Brands!!!!

Who's Who...

(From L to R : Prakhar, Ashish, Mohit,Writtika,Abhimanyu and Sugandh)

Here’s a proper introduction to Bhascomm for all you people out there–

6 faces, lost in a huge crowd of 420 people, met during the Orientation Week for the 2009-2011 batch at IMT, Ghaziabad. Since then, they ate together, laughed together, fooled around together and remained awake (Remember, IMT never sleeps) together. They bonded while there was a pretty futile attempt to have their personalities “developed” overnight.

Now, 5 months and as Abhi said, a few ups n downs later…they are still going strong…

Let’s meet (in Alphabetical order so as to steer clear from any controversies…): -

• Abhimanyu Parashar aka Misguided Missile from Delhi – A techie by education, an MBA by design and a movie-maker at heart…proud owner of the “Bhascomm wagon” – Swapnasundari”…a Tarantino buff and a sweet-heart down to the core…
  
• Ashish Nair aka Chikni from Nagpur – A guy who wanted to be a doctor but somehow ended up as a budding marketing guru…a true charmer and someone who could give Raju Srivastav a run for his money (well…almost)
  
• Mohit Deshpande alias Papa from Bilaspur – The anchor of the group, Mr. Dependable, here, is a techno-wiz: a one-stop solution for all the ‘lappy’ troubles… and a 24/7 personal-loan unit for Bhascomm
  
• Prakhar Srivastav, the king of Bhasad, from Ghaziabad – An HR enthusiast, a charismatic speaker, a graphologist, and an entertainer - all rolled into one…whenever you need a helping hand, you can count on him…
  
• Sugandh Bhatia, the baby of the group, from Bhopal – Cute, Hard-working, Vivacious, Impulsive and Caring, well, that’s Su for you…Listen carefully - you could, probably, hear her holler a few miles away…
  
• Writtika Maitra from Kolkata: And that would have to be me…Maa for some and Matter for the others…I was wary of “friendship in a B-School” when I first arrived on campus…well, I threw caution in the air and that earned me 5 of my closest friends ever…

This blog is for us, to cherish and revisit the memories that we are making here…And for you, with whom we want to share the brilliance and the warmth of our friendship…

4 Months of Bhascomm !!!

Hi fellow bhasadis

Well we are about to complete 4 odd months together and have we seen some ups and downs. Lets just say when 6 oddball characters are thrown together there are bound to be sparks and there were quite a few of them. But something unexplained has kept us together throughout. Something that we all share and something that we all feels exists within us. What is that? Is it the love for food, love for sex (Ok Ok the physical aspect of love !! ) , love for the good life, PJ cracking ability (lets not deny this but we all are quite good at this !!) or what is it? This post is just a little attempt to try and piece together what keeps us going but one thing is there!!! I looooooooooooooooooooove being part of this!!! I loooooove u guys for how ugly or good looking u are or how smart or how dumb u are!!! u guys just are... and thats the best thing...!!!

Abhi (The Misguided Missile !!)

P M W S A A

The First Post

Well....To start with, we decided that the channels for bhasad had to include the internet and so here we are. Here is a video of the samosa escapade we had.